Constructive Editing

Couple things about the song I posted last night, Tiny Footprints...

After playing it a few times today I realized it was too long. Even for a solo artist/performer such as myself I felt like the audience would drift off with each ensuing verse. When I was writing last night, I though it would be cool to repeat the third line of each verse and then slightly change the line with each succeeding verse. Today it just looked and sounded like I was saying almost the same thing twice in each verse. So...

SNIP!

I reduced the lyrics by almost half. A very drastic, hard and rare thing for me to do, but when I played the song again... viola. Seemed to hold my attention much better as the subject matter moved along nicely now (not to mention that it comes in at around 3:45 now... ideal if you ask me). Also, there are small instrumental breaks in between some of the verses. This one just didn't seem like it needed a chorus or bridge, but we'll see.

Finally, I don't think the working title "Grandfather Song" will be the final title. I usually try to lift the title right out of the chorus. It's hard, with an A-A-A-A-A song to find a suitable title, however. A couple possible title ideas:

Tiny Footprints
Footprints on the Floor
I Wish That Time Would Just Slow Down

Here are the edited lyrics, btw:

Tiny Footprints (working title)
words and music by John Natiw

07_0821_Tiny_Footprints.WMA [scratch recording]

There are tiny footprints on my floor
I don't remember seeing them before
Ooh, I wish that time would just slow down
There are tiny footprints on my floor

There are just too many things to do
A lunch to make and then it's off to school
Ooh, I wish that girl would just grow up
There are just too many things to do

[break]

There's a strange car out there in the drive
I knew someday this moment would arrive
Ooh, I wish that boy would just go home
There's a strange car out there in the drive

Now the girl is all dressed up in white
Next to her is standing "Mr. Right"
Ooh, I wish the girl would just come home
Now the girl is all dressed up in white

[break]

She smiles at me and says that she'll be fine
The doctor says these things just take some time
Ooh, I wish the time would just fly by
She smiles at me and says that she'll be fine

There's the sound of crying down the hall
Emotions that I vaguely can recall
Ooh, I wish that time would just slow down
There's the sound of crying down the hall

[break]

(reprise)

There are tiny footprints on the floor
I don't remember seeing them before
Ooh, I wish that time would just slow down
There are tiny footprints on the floor
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UPDATE - Monday, August 20: Slept on this one again last night after playing it a few dozen more times yesterday with the lyrics edited. Much better. However, I'm still entertaining the idea of writing a bridge for this one, making it either a fairly common "A-A-B-A" song (e.g. Saving All My Love for You, The Way We Were, Yesterday, Somewhere Over the Rainbow) or maybe even a rarer "A-A-B-A-B-A" song (e.g. I'll Follow the Sun, Hey Jude, Long and Winding Road). Also, I'm not entirely sure that there doesn't need to be some re-writing done in the lyrics. I'll keep singing it and, hopefully, play it out live next month and get some feedback. Be back soon...
J
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UPDATE - Monday, August 20: Edit to add "Mr. Right" stanza.
J
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UPDATE - Tuesday, August 21: To add link to WMA file. Have a listen!
J

It's About Time!

Been awhile. This one came out of nowhere. Came out almost as is in about two hours. One unintended bonus is the fact that the lyrics seem to fit well with my intended CD title "It's About Time". Maybe someday it'll get recorded!

I'll try to get an mp3 up soon.

The Grandfather Song (working title)
words and music by John Natiw

There are tiny footprints on my floor
I don't remember seeing them before
ooh, I wish that time would just slow down
There are tiny footprints on my floor

There are water colors on the wall
A purple baby doll and yellow ball
ooh, I wish that time would just slow down
There are water colors on the wall


There are just too many things to do
A lunch to make and then it's off to school
ooh, I wish that girl would just grow up
There are just too many things to do

There are fourteen candles on a cake
the one that took all afternoon to make
ooh, I wish that girl would just grow up
There are fourteen candles on a cake


There's a strange car out there in the drive
I knew someday this moment would arrive
Ooh, I wish that boy would just go home
There's a strange car out there in the drive

Now there's someone knocking at the door
I don't remember seeing him before
ooh, I wish that boy would just go home
Now there's someone knocking at the door


There's five hundred miles left to go
I never thought a car could go so slow
ooh, I wish the time would just fly by
There's five hundred miles left to go

She smiles at me and says that she'll be fine
The doctor says these things just take some time
Ooh, I wish the time would just fly by
She smiles at me and says that she'll be fine


There's the sound of crying down the hall
emotions that I vaguely can recall
Ooh, [pause] I wish that time would just slow down
There's the sound of crying down the hall

There are tiny footprints on the floor
I don't remember seeing them before
ooh, I wish that time would just slow down
There are tiny footprints on the floor

For my dad... For a variety of reasons.
J